Ashley Gingam left the set of her photo shoot for the Sporting Illustrious Magazine in a state of euphoria, and she wasted almost no time getting ready for her next photo shoot… She went straight to the nearest Burger King and ordered two whoppers and a large soda. “You know, if you would have told me being a pre-diabetic would make me famous, and allow me to become a crutch for the fattest and most unhealthy country in the history of the world, I would have told you that you were crazy. But it’s really happening and I’m so happy and proud! It’s so awesome. This is how easy my workout is,” she said as she lifted a greasy whopper to her mouth, “all those dedicated models who do it healthily and devote their lives to their figure/profession deserve none of the credit that I’m getting. Fuck them, let’s go throw burgers at them…” And thus started one of the largest skinny shaming campaigns in the history of political correctness.
“Going on two months now, Ashley has created a movement. We call it “Skinny Shaming the minority, or the skinnies,”” Said her agent. “Basically what we do is get as many fat people together as we can, be it on their scooters, with their thunder thighs, their diabetes socks… whatever state they come in, they come we always get large crowds, no pun intended. We all order half a dozen burgers from wherever, and then we walk down the street of New York or LA and throw those burgers at the skinnies and tell them to gain some weight! You should see their faces. Sometimes they cry, sometimes they eat the burger… it’s really a treat. Honestly though, how can you let yourself get so skinny without having an eating disorder? Like, come on.”
We interviewed an obese woman who is part of Ashley’s movement of “Skinny Shaming.” She has also started her own branch of skinny shamers in Houston, “Ashley is such an inspiration. It has enabled me to be okay with myself for continuing my unhealthy lifestyle filled with overeating and no working out. I love myself so much for being obese now because of her. I’m a nurse by trade and I can tell you right now that I have never seen an obese person live past their 60’s due to the health issues it brings, but I don’t care… I love myself… You know who shouldn’t love themselves, though? Skinny people. THEY, not myself and my decisions, made me insecure before Ashley came along, and fuck them for caring about themselves and the way they look and how they treat their bodies… So let’s shame them for that!”
We interviewed a thirteen year old girl who had posters of Ashley all over her bedroom. “She has showed me that working hard doesn’t matter. Why do that when you can eat cookies and candies and still be praised for it? I hate gym class because sweating sucks… So I’m not going to do that ever again, because Ashley showed me I can!”
So the message is: Love yourself… Even if you are unhealthy…. Caring about how you look doesn’t matter one bit… And next time you see someone who does care, shame them for it… Go Ashley.
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