Breaking: Local Gas Station Clerk Posts Election Changing Political Rant on Facebook

With six likes, and even a share, a local gas station clerk is making waves in the political world after he posted a five hundred word rant on the 2016 US presidential election. With almost 200 friends on Facebook, this could very well change the political landscape for the rest of the year.

“The world was waiting for it, and now we have it. His political views are so original and so well informed, seeing his post on Facebook actually made me change my stance in this election.” Said a friend of the gas station clerk’s, “His opinion is so important to me and should be to everyone else as well. I hope he keeps posting his rants.”

We almost weren’t able to interview the gas station clerk because of his newfound fame and political importance, but we were able to ask him a few questions during his evening shift right after he put a new batch of tornados on the heated rollers. “Look, I felt the world needed to hear it. Check that… I had an obligation, a duty, to post it. I am so well informed… Like, so well informed. I watch BOTH CNN and FOX. Can you get anymore well informed? To answer my own question, yes… I watch thirty minute youtube videos all the time about conspiracy theories. People need to start listening. That’s why I posted it… Fricken sheeple.”

The interview was cut short because a man needed his scratch off tickets cashed, but we were able to catch a glimpse into the important life of this man, and we assure you, you need to listen to him and respect him. His views matter.

To better inform the sheeple, please like and share and let the world know about this amazing man and his world changing political views.

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