#FatLivesMatter Cries Foul at BET Awards; Suggests Body Shaming Motive Behind Sunrise/Sunset

The BET awards (Black Entertainment Television) are known for setting race aside and bringing all races of all people in as one, it’s truly amazing. No double standards, no hoopla, no bull, just plain old fun in the sun and unity as a nation… However, there is one group of people that is not happy with their representation at the awards, or lack thereof. The big night at the BET awards was filled with glorious gowns and men in expensive suits… And silly old Spike Lee in a purple top hat (laughing crying emoji)… But where were all the fat people?

“They are singling us out. And it’s because of our culture of being obese.” Said a spokesperson of the #FatLivesMatter headquarters in Dallas, TX. “It’s THEIR fault. Not ours. Why should we have to display accountability for our behavior that affects everyone else? Look, I eat my cake, and the country pays for my heart bypass surgery because I don’t have health insurance, it’s that simple. I’m being supressed by the system and I can’t get out of its grip. Sure, a small percentage of us have thyroid problems and can’t help being big but that’s beside the point… We are not being treated fairly as fat people, and it’s everyone else’s fault. You know what else? We have reason to believe there is a body shaming motive behind the sunrise and sunset. That’s right. Even god is out to get us. Poor us! Until we get our way, we are going to continue to blame everyone else. And another thing… Anyone who is skinny is a body shamer. That’s how it is, it’s just our culture, and make sure you don’t criticize us or you too will be a body shamer. Don’t eat cake either or we’ll call you a culture hawk. Cake is ours.”

Shortly after this interview ended, the obese man we questioned was walking down the street when he approached a police officer with a gun. To his surprise he was shot dead. The streets of Manhattan are overflowing with scooters and picketers demanding justice for this poor man who just wanted to wave his gun at the cops, citing the fact that it was his right and is completely socially acceptable.

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